Being trans is hard
It has it's joys
It has it's pain
It has it's euphoria
It has it's dysphoria.
Being trans is hard.
I can see myself in the mirror, in my movements, in my smile. In my eyes. Hello me! Oestrogen makes me feel so good and so alive, so complete in so many ways. I am a woman, I am female and I am alive. This is an incredible feeling and one I wish was constant, I love it!
I feel amazing, I feel euphoric. Hello me, we're still alive. I am going to live as me and only me! I love being a woman!
My body is all wrong, people don't see me for me, they see someone else, someone I'm not and it hurts! I feel like I'm invisible every time I'm misgendered, every time I'm dead named. I feel like I'm being shoved back into that dark place within while some thing, some lie, is all people care to see and insist on being what lives.
No matter what I do it never feels like it's enough, it never feels like I'll ever be able to be myself. I'm going to die as someone I'm not and I don't want to die like that! Please can't I just be me? Please?!
I was addressed as a woman today, they saw me as me and it was such a wonderful feeling to be seen for me. Others did the same, it feels so good to be seen for me. I'm just an average, ordinary woman making her way through life and through the world as herself.
Another says hello miss, oh how good that feels to be addressed correctly. To be truly seen for myself. A woman. Because that is what I am, a woman.
I'm glad I learned first aid and how to take care of myself when hurt. I wipe the blood away from my face and my body, it's my blood. No one else's. A new lot of bruises and cuts, a black eye, no broken bones this time at least. Some insecure types didn't take kindly to my being a trans woman so they decided to display their dominance, their power and their strength by beating me up.
Had it not been for some people chasing them off I think they would have beaten me to death or within an inch of my life, either way they would added another mark to their insecure asshole card. While no one would care if I was dead.
Terfs claim that trans women don't bleed, shows how little they know. I'm bleeding, other trans women are bleeding. We may not bleed from between our legs in a period sense but we bleed, our blood spilling on the ground for every murder, every attack, every wound inflicted. We bleed.
That blood is the same colour as yours not that transphobes care to understand. Every attack on a trans woman for expressing their femininity in their own way, for presenting themselves to the world and taking pride in being who they truly are is an attack on cis gender woman as well.
Being trans is hard. It has it's euphoria, it has it's joys, it has it's dysphoria and it has it's pains. No one trans person's journey is life is the same as any other's, we all walk our own path with it's many twists and turns. We are born just like cis people are, we grow, we learn, we mature and we seek our happiness in life. We are really no different beyond just how we're born differently and live through life with different experiences and paths.
We are just ordinary every day human beings who just happen to be trans. That isn't a sin, it isn't wrong, it isn't justification nor an excuse to beat down on trans people. Diversity is life after all and no amount of bigotry and lashing out is going to change that.
Like it or not trans people are here to stay just as they always have all through humanity's existence. Nature creates diversity, diversity is vital for growth and maturity as a species. Trans people in all variations from binary to non-binary to gender-fluid and more are the very real living proof that the definition of a person is not limited to whatever genitalia they have between their legs but in who a person is within that body, their personality, their individuality, their uniqueness, their potential.
The understanding of self is not something you gain only by the likes of meditation and fancy rituals, it's by listening to yourself, to who you truly are within the body. That might be seen as spiritual and maybe it is, inner peace has to come from within which means listening to yourself, your true self. Not the self-created by those fixated on genitals and profits.
Being trans is hard because far too many make it hard to live.
I am a trans woman, I am a woman. I am a sister, I am a daughter. I am female and I am human. Please don't hurt me for my simply existing. Let me live my life as me.
Being trans is hard
It shouldn't have to be.