Steph's Place

17th March. Men.

Why do men hurt and sometimes kill


So it's been a few days since I blogged. To be honest, I couldn't.

The anger - no outrage of the murder of another woman in genuinely horrible circumstances repulses me.

Many writers had to write - the public wanted to read about everything, and it was their job to put some record on paper, not just Sarah Everard's murder but also the shocking police response at Sarah's vigil by Clapham Common bandstand.

The blame for Sarah's murder is attributed to a man - something very common, except most deaths, are barely reported. Just a name amongst many others, read out in the House of Commons on an annual basis.

As a trans woman - yes, a former man I am perhaps in the best position to know the difference in men's and women's thinking.

Sadly, many of the gender-critical still see me as a man; I can't escape those chromosomes, you see - not that I have ever been tested.

In fact, who has?

I have known for a very long time that I am a near misandrist. That there are some men that I like and respect, but as a 'sex', they stink.

It all stems from my dad and his 'wise words' that religion and politics cause wars.

He was wrong - it is a MANS interpretation of a religion or politics that causes conflict.

I started thinking about all the men who fought battles thanks to a man's thinking. How many willingly went to fight, hurt, wound, kill and be killed. How many totally innocent women and children were affected for life - if they escaped the indiscriminate bullets and bombs. Not that they could escape the deaths of those who fought.

For what?

Mans thinking.

The simple truth is men kill - men hurt.

Men actually kill more men than women. Women are either killed because they are in the home or out in the streets, becoming easy targets. And if men dont kill, they hurt - a point well proven by the domestic abuse statistics, with one in four women suffering domestic abuse.

These points have nothing to do with me being 'trans.'

Yes, I love women, but that is not because I hate all men. I love women because of their empathy - that they care for all human beings and especially their own. 

Do men have empathy?

Well perhaps, a few.

I share the same thoughts and feelings as those women who have been abused by men in the past - many of whom are now gender-critical. As a child, I was sexually abused by a man, and though it happened more than half a decade ago, I do not forget. Petrified to the point that I only started talking about a year or so ago. How I escaped with my life I dont know. But I remember it like yesterday by the rocks with that 'fisherman' close to the lighthouse in Douglas, Isle of Man. 

Men - abusers and killers.

Over sixteen thousand of them locked up in Britains jails for sex offences alone, plus many more thousands in prison for simple assault or beating.

And it is not just in this country - it is everywhere. The UK statistics are pretty good in comparison to many other countries.

And to be honest, I dont think any new laws are going to change things - for goodness sake, this has been happening for thousands of years!

This 'hurt' gene or mentality is inbred in men, like having bigger feet than women. So I cant offer many answers, I am afraid. The reduction of alcohol intake would help - I am sure many get abusive when under the influence.

But short of castration or putting men on testosterone blockers, I dont know the answer. Hey, that might be an idea, ladies. Tell your man, he is losing his hair and suggest asking his doctor for some Finasteride. It is a drug that combats hair loss and at the same time lowers his T. It is only a tiny dose (just 1mg), but it may help if you have an abusive man in your life. Trans women take it as a blocker but in 5mg doses. Reduction of T does make men less aggressive. 

But that's it - I have no real answers. Sorry.

Violence is part of men's psyche, and if you have one that loves, treasures and adores you, that never raises his voice or fist - consider your self very lucky.

Very lucky indeed.

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